ON MY OWN….

Starting of a long long vacation….

Day 1.

Movie date with self

Venue Nandan,Kolkata. Movie name Kontho…

Day 2

16th May,2019

Busy busy busy day.

Visit to the electronic market, Jewellery gathering… and here and there..

No pictures…

Tired by 8 p.m

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On Forever…

Too many people nowadays talk about break ups, as if it is very cool. Quoting big meaningless dialogues and boasting about the fact, that

‘Not everyone who stays together is in love’ or ‘marriage is just a stamp’

Or the classic ‘marriage ends love’…

I request you all to shut your listerine washed, lip balm protected little mouths and open your sleep deprived tired eyes.

Look around, and you will find love in the way a couple sits together infront of the wall mounted t.v on their comfortable couch, in their ugly pjs and chat about the mundane life.

Discussing about the next day’s menu, or the present day’s monotonous nature.

Waking up next to a completely different person and getting irritated on their weird sleeping habits….

Or sharing a simple meal of daal, chawal and papad and discussing about the recent news headlines.

Or holding each other’s hands and continuing the walk of life through the rocky roads and smooth highways.

Once my teacher described marriage to me in the simplest of words “It is nothing scary, it is one of the most beautiful things in the world.” -and I still believe that.

Back at home, when everyday my parents used to fight for some silly reason, I hated ‘marriage’. But the next morning, when I used to find them sharing their morning tea, baba bringing maa’s favourite fish, or maa, surprising baba with a sudden gift, I used to be confused. But now I understand (I think)..

Marriage doesnot promise a bed of roses to walk on,instead it gives us a person to pluck thorns with. May be married couples are like Tom and Jerry,always fighting, yet together.

Recently while reading Rumi, two lines stuck my heart and head altogether

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along”- from the poem Music Master

May be he said about married couples. They go through everything together. Yes, sometimes one person might feel that he/she is burdened down, but tables turn again and again and balance them out.

But I cannot say much about it, can I? Or I have to wait for the day, when I will have streaks of silver in my hair, and I won’t be as gorgeous as I am now. Wearing a faded nighty on a Sunday morning I would call ‘someone’ to carry the tray of tea as my mother does. And that ‘someone’ would oblige as my father does.

May be I would get home tired from work, and become cranky. He would quietly offer to chop the veggies or cook his ‘special dish’, just like my parents do.

May be my fear would be replaced by a stronger feeling, a feeling which no winds will be able to shake….

Moumita

Photos used here are from my Friend’s wedding.

On Menstruation…

During an usual busy day, I experienced something which was a little weird in today’s time. Menarche of a student started and she was feeling really helpless. She had njo idea about menstruation and was extremely embarassed. I and my colleague tried to explain this very ‘natural procedure’ . But, as she was unaware of this thing, she was as scared as hell. I tried to calm her down with my antics, but in vain. To my utter shock, she refused to wear a sanitary napkin. Twinkle Khanna and Padman would hang their heads in utter shame! The poor girl thought she might have developed some disease. It took some sweet coaxing to finally make her use it.

But she was requesting repeatedly to not share this to anyone. And here I am, writing a blog about it!

Periods have never been considered a taboo by my parents. Yes, initially, I too was scared of it. But slowly I understood it is a very natural process and nothing to be ashamed of. Infact, we need to educate the male members about this, so that they wouldnot feel embarrased unnecessarily and can lend a helping hand to the women. I remember very clearly, once when I was going through this ‘monthly ritual’ and was in a pretty bad mood, one of my male friends suggested having chocolates to lift up my mood. My father always used to suggest having natural cool drinks during periods.

Contrary to the popular belief, a woman can touch anything she likes(even the jar of pickle), eat whatever she likes, offer prayer, perform religious ceremonies and even take part in sports during her periods. Though certain physical activities are not advisable. It is better to consult the coach or trainer beforehand. And certain discomfort is inevitable. We might feel dizzy, sleepy, irritated, anger,pain, lethargic and other things. At those times, a heating pad and an ice cream does magic! And there is nothing impure about periods. It is as natural as pooping or peeing. Only difference is that, it is a little painful and enables us to reproduce.

But the most important thing would be to increase awareness and be a little understanding to girls and women on these days. Personal hygiene should be the top priority. And, we should reach out to everyone with a helping hand.

Getting back to my student, I congratulated her on having her first period, and welcomed her into womanhood. She didnot understand it much, but she will, one day.

Moumita

A letter to my teenage self..

Dear 15 year old M,

You will grow up to be a wonderful, beautiful and amazing individual. Spread your wings and donot let anyone clip them.

Today you are a shy, overweight, and introvert girl…but believe me, you will turn into this extremely extrovert, curvy and outspoken lady one day.

One day you won’t have to hide your feelings for anyone,anymore. You will be able to express your deepest feelings without the fear of being judged.

One day you are going to set examples for a lot of women around you.

One day, you are going to set your soul free and make your parents proud.

But donot forget my dear….

You live in a society, where a woman of a certain age is judged by her marital status rather than quality of her work.

You live in a society, where no matter what you have achieved, you will not be considered ‘settled’ until you are married.

You live in a society, where ‘having a man in life is not important’ will sound good only from a married and ‘well settled woman’.

You will have to fight for your place everyday, just because you are able to reproduce, and often the fight will be with members of the same gender.

But my dear, donot give up. Because you are going to come out stronger of it, and if you find someone special, keep him for as long as you can.

Else, how will you set an example of ‘a strong woman’!

P.S…

Ignore all the negativities and close your ears to them…

And continue being a fighter you are..

Moumita.

A Holi With(out) Colours! PART II

Well… the holi turned out to be surprisingly colourful, thanks to a lively colleague of mine, and his livelier friends.

We were coated in various type of colours…

And I realised something….

Life gives you surprises when you least expect it.

It is like making Dum Biryani, until you open the lid, you would never know how it turned out.

And playing with colours give a sense of freedom, a kind of feeling of mingling with the nature and to our own true selves.

Colours rejuvenate us. This festival of spring sheds old,dusty negativities of our heart and lets the sweet flowers of positivity bloom and spread its sweetness.

Bawshonto Eshe Gachey

(Spring has arrived)

Moumita

A Holi without colours….

It is an usual morning in NCS staff quarters. Everybody seems to be in an usual mood today.

Sitting inside my bedroom,my heart is going back to flashbacks of my college days in Kolkata and my amateur working days in M.P. I used to play holi like crazy with everyone around. We used to go around with packets/thaali of ‘abir'(gulaal) and put colours on everybody with their permission. We used to go to our professor’s place and as per the Bengali customs, we used to smear his feet with ‘abir’ and used to put a small ’tilak’ on his forehead. He in return, blessed us with little ‘abir’ on our heads. A thousand butterflies used to perform an opera inside my stomach, and atleast a few violins used to play in the background when my turn came. I guess love does that to people, specially in our teenage. We cherished every moment….. But moreover, the memories spent with my friends will be forever etched in my heart. Wish I could go back to my teenage and soak in the wildness and spread craziness.

At home, in Kolkata, holi started with smearing abir on elders’ feet and on photos of gods and goddesses, eating lots of sweets, performing a small puja on Day 1, and eating lots of non-veg on Day 2.

In Bhopal, I used to go crazy with equally crazy colleagues of mine.

Personally, holi is not only a festival of colours, to me, it is a festival of universal love and harmony. No matter how angry we are on each other, on holi I try to wish everyone.

Here, holi is a little different, but I will try to keep the spirit alive.

To me, holi smells of Rabindranath, misti, non-stop adda, gossip, food and a more tangible expression of love. Putting colours on cheeks of a beloved is the utmost expression of love for me. Holi breaks inhibitions, breaks barriers, opens up its arms for us to get lost in its warmth.

And this one is for you A:

Rang lagaane na sahi, rang milaane to aa jaate,

Is holi dilon ki duriyaa kuch toh kam hote.

Sunaa hai dushman bhi dost bante hai holi par,

Suna hai dushman bhi dost ban jaate hai holi par,

Fir tumse to rishtaa itna bhi bura nehi mere humsafar…

Wishing a very happy and safe holi everyone

Moumita

First Day as an invigilator…

With a little fear, and a lot of excitement in my heart, I reached KWET’s school in Raichur with a colleague of mine. It was my first day as a C.B.S.E invigilator. Although I was given lots of advice and suggestions by my senior colleagues and V.P Mam and Principal Mam, yet the kid inside me was nervous!

But the moment I entered the gate, I saw immense respect being showered to us-right from the group D staff to the teachers..

My fear started to dilute a little.

And when I saw the students coming in, my mind went on a flashback. In them, I could see my teenage. The happiness, excitement, stress, anticipation and million other emotions were going on inside their minds and I felt all of those along with them.

After some formalities, the exam started. I was trying to maintain a very serious face, but couldnot control a smile or two, which came out watching their gestures and expressions. Within these 3 hours, I learnt a lot of things, made a lot of mistakes, but the staff there handled everything very patiently.

But I was trying to imagine the scenario when these kids will grow up and become someone important. And my face lit up everytime. After the exams were over, and all the formalities taken care of, I said ‘Thank you’,to the all-white clad senior teacher for his immense help, to which he replied with a smile,”no issues,this is how we help each other grow.” I was awestruck and filled with gratefulness. The world would be a lovelier place if all of us thought that way.

I am thankful to my school for providing me such a wonderful opportunity, and my colleague who was there with me on this wonderful adventure…

P.S… May all of us remain a student at heart, so that we never stop learning.

From Raichur, Karnataka

Moumita.