Idea of Freedom

Ask the true meaning of freedom to the man working hard day and night, just to feed his family. To him, freedom means sleeping one day without any worries.

To the woman working in night shifts, freedom means reaching home safely without feeling afraid.

To the child working in a tea stall to make ends meet, freedom means being able to go to school.

To the two hearts living away from each other, freedom means to be able to come closer crossing all barriers.

To the teenagers, freedom means spending days without any suggestion or advice.

To the hundreds and thousands of families whose children are in police, or in army, freedom means a day without the fear of the death of their kids.

Every Indian has a different definition of freedom. Yet, at the end of the day, we all adjust with borrowed ideas of freedom.

Well, may be it is time,we take a deep breath, take a page out of the book of our bravehearts and learn to stand up for ‘our’ ideas of freedom.

Moumita

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Whites

Want to go back in my whites

Want to kick some serious ass.

My body aches for some deeper pleasure,

The pleasure that I get from a hard hitting punch

The pleasure that I get from kicking an opponent down.

The day I will start being in my whites again and put on my coloured belt.

I will be a student again, and ready to beat the baddies of negativity.

I will come back again, soon

An unfortunate incident

Well… this is neither a complaint, nor a vent out of anger. I feel all the parents should be humbly requested not to give their children bikes until they are 18 and without proper license. They should understand how to control a bike and most importantly, they should not forget helmets. Since the day I have moved into this beautiful city, one sight really annoyed the hell out of me. People of all ages are driving bikes without helmets and that too in a very ‘I don’t care’ manner. I used to discuss this with one of my colleagues and she said, even she was angry with this. But, even she didn’t wore helmet. Even then she skipped helmets. One of my biker friend explained me the importance of helmets and personal safety during riding. He always says that helmet is as important as fuel during riding. But here I see people are totally forgetting that fact.

None of my colleagues have ever been seen wearing helmets, and I care about them and now will be worried about their safety. My biker friend also mentioned a good quality ISI 900 helmet for better protection.

Coming back to the hideous experience of hearing the news of a student’s death, it shook my core. Adarsh, a bright kid, just passed 10th board exams and was here this morning with two of his friends to collect their TCs and Pass Certificates. Who would have known that a horrible incident is waiting for us?

He got an urgent call from his friend, whose bike he has borrowed and rushed out. And here my fingers are shaking… he faced a major accident where he got hit by rocks and lost his precious life. I wish I could have asked him to go safely, drive slowly, or wait till 18 to drive properly. But, I couldnot do anything. Some of my colleagues went to the accident spot, but I just couldnot. I couldnot be that brave. I want to remember his smiling and bright face full of hopes. I was asked to write the condolence message for the parents, and my fingers were not moving. I refused initially, then I typed something reluctantly. No amount of condolence could recover the loss his parents had suffered.

Who is to be blamed for this? The bad roads, the rocks, the bike, absence of helmet, parents?? Who? Will blaming anyone bring back the young life? Will it bring back the possibilities and bright future of the kid? Will it bring back the sanity of his parents, who after losing their only child were not in a proper emotional condition? Lives lost cannot be brought back, no matter how hard we try. We can instead change our ways, our strategies, and our habits. If from tomorrow all my colleagues start wearing helmets, may be other people will follow. May be they will feel a little uncomfortable initially, but their families will feel safe. And as for the kids, until they know how to ride properly and have a valid license, they should not be allowed to touch a bike. There is more beauty in life than in death. Hope this sacrifice doesnot go to waste, and people in this beautiful city start giving importance to their safety and restrict their kids a little more.

Moumita

On Forever…

Too many people nowadays talk about break ups, as if it is very cool. Quoting big meaningless dialogues and boasting about the fact, that

‘Not everyone who stays together is in love’ or ‘marriage is just a stamp’

Or the classic ‘marriage ends love’…

I request you all to shut your listerine washed, lip balm protected little mouths and open your sleep deprived tired eyes.

Look around, and you will find love in the way a couple sits together infront of the wall mounted t.v on their comfortable couch, in their ugly pjs and chat about the mundane life.

Discussing about the next day’s menu, or the present day’s monotonous nature.

Waking up next to a completely different person and getting irritated on their weird sleeping habits….

Or sharing a simple meal of daal, chawal and papad and discussing about the recent news headlines.

Or holding each other’s hands and continuing the walk of life through the rocky roads and smooth highways.

Once my teacher described marriage to me in the simplest of words “It is nothing scary, it is one of the most beautiful things in the world.” -and I still believe that.

Back at home, when everyday my parents used to fight for some silly reason, I hated ‘marriage’. But the next morning, when I used to find them sharing their morning tea, baba bringing maa’s favourite fish, or maa, surprising baba with a sudden gift, I used to be confused. But now I understand (I think)..

Marriage doesnot promise a bed of roses to walk on,instead it gives us a person to pluck thorns with. May be married couples are like Tom and Jerry,always fighting, yet together.

Recently while reading Rumi, two lines stuck my heart and head altogether

“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along”- from the poem Music Master

May be he said about married couples. They go through everything together. Yes, sometimes one person might feel that he/she is burdened down, but tables turn again and again and balance them out.

But I cannot say much about it, can I? Or I have to wait for the day, when I will have streaks of silver in my hair, and I won’t be as gorgeous as I am now. Wearing a faded nighty on a Sunday morning I would call ‘someone’ to carry the tray of tea as my mother does. And that ‘someone’ would oblige as my father does.

May be I would get home tired from work, and become cranky. He would quietly offer to chop the veggies or cook his ‘special dish’, just like my parents do.

May be my fear would be replaced by a stronger feeling, a feeling which no winds will be able to shake….

Moumita

Photos used here are from my Friend’s wedding.

On Menstruation…

During an usual busy day, I experienced something which was a little weird in today’s time. Menarche of a student started and she was feeling really helpless. She had njo idea about menstruation and was extremely embarassed. I and my colleague tried to explain this very ‘natural procedure’ . But, as she was unaware of this thing, she was as scared as hell. I tried to calm her down with my antics, but in vain. To my utter shock, she refused to wear a sanitary napkin. Twinkle Khanna and Padman would hang their heads in utter shame! The poor girl thought she might have developed some disease. It took some sweet coaxing to finally make her use it.

But she was requesting repeatedly to not share this to anyone. And here I am, writing a blog about it!

Periods have never been considered a taboo by my parents. Yes, initially, I too was scared of it. But slowly I understood it is a very natural process and nothing to be ashamed of. Infact, we need to educate the male members about this, so that they wouldnot feel embarrased unnecessarily and can lend a helping hand to the women. I remember very clearly, once when I was going through this ‘monthly ritual’ and was in a pretty bad mood, one of my male friends suggested having chocolates to lift up my mood. My father always used to suggest having natural cool drinks during periods.

Contrary to the popular belief, a woman can touch anything she likes(even the jar of pickle), eat whatever she likes, offer prayer, perform religious ceremonies and even take part in sports during her periods. Though certain physical activities are not advisable. It is better to consult the coach or trainer beforehand. And certain discomfort is inevitable. We might feel dizzy, sleepy, irritated, anger,pain, lethargic and other things. At those times, a heating pad and an ice cream does magic! And there is nothing impure about periods. It is as natural as pooping or peeing. Only difference is that, it is a little painful and enables us to reproduce.

But the most important thing would be to increase awareness and be a little understanding to girls and women on these days. Personal hygiene should be the top priority. And, we should reach out to everyone with a helping hand.

Getting back to my student, I congratulated her on having her first period, and welcomed her into womanhood. She didnot understand it much, but she will, one day.

Moumita

A letter to my teenage self..

Dear 15 year old M,

You will grow up to be a wonderful, beautiful and amazing individual. Spread your wings and donot let anyone clip them.

Today you are a shy, overweight, and introvert girl…but believe me, you will turn into this extremely extrovert, curvy and outspoken lady one day.

One day you won’t have to hide your feelings for anyone,anymore. You will be able to express your deepest feelings without the fear of being judged.

One day you are going to set examples for a lot of women around you.

One day, you are going to set your soul free and make your parents proud.

But donot forget my dear….

You live in a society, where a woman of a certain age is judged by her marital status rather than quality of her work.

You live in a society, where no matter what you have achieved, you will not be considered ‘settled’ until you are married.

You live in a society, where ‘having a man in life is not important’ will sound good only from a married and ‘well settled woman’.

You will have to fight for your place everyday, just because you are able to reproduce, and often the fight will be with members of the same gender.

But my dear, donot give up. Because you are going to come out stronger of it, and if you find someone special, keep him for as long as you can.

Else, how will you set an example of ‘a strong woman’!

P.S…

Ignore all the negativities and close your ears to them…

And continue being a fighter you are..

Moumita.